On your marks

That was what immediately popped into my head today when my OB, wand in hand, told me that the General was in the head down position facing my spinal cord. He or she is in the on-your-marks position. In fact all systems are go for a VBAC. Baby is much bigger than la cocotte (estimated 4.5 lbs at 33 weeks good for the 40th percentile) which means that it is unlikely my doc will want to "bail out" (as she puts it) early by c-section or induction (in fact we have agreed that any bailing will be done by C not by induction as I do not NOT want a repeat of the induction experience). I have a good amount of fluid. I am not dilated at all (huh... guess all the running doesn't cause premature dilation and labor). So, yes, the stars are lining up for a VBAC attempt. I still cannot imagine actually push a baby out. I really just cannot fathom it. It's this weird mixture of arrogance and lack of self-confidence. I waffle between... "pushing is for other woman, I am exempt" (I know... isn't that completely obnoxious) and thinking I am simply NOT capable of enduring labor and child birth (equally terrible but more in keeping with my personality).

I really do not want to turn this blog into a blow-by-blow of pregnancy, child birth and child rearing but I do find myself overly navel gazing these days (hard not to... the navel is now unavoidable). So, if I can indulge a bit more, this not knowing the gender thing is easier than I thought it would be. Between appointments I find myself not even really curious. Under the wand it is harder to resist asking and even harder to avoid interpreting EVERY minor comment my OB makes. For instance, today she told me to come into her office so we could compare the measurements to those of "my daughter" and somehow that convinced me that this one is a son. But when the wand passed in "the region" I took a good look and did not see anything resembling a penis... then again I don't really see anything resembling a human at any of my ultrasounds. I am still convinced she is showing me images of her son's project on reptiles (though today I saw and FELT a kick at the same time so that was kind of convincing that we were looking at the contents of my uterus).

Speaking of on your marks, no more intervals for me... I figured at 33 weeks it is probably time to give them a rest. Instead I am rekindling my love of the long, slow run. Time management wise I can only get out to exercise 4 (sometimes if I am lucky 5) times per week so I am trying longer (80-100 minutes), slower runs and loving it.