My bag of tricks

In preparation for the half marathon tomorrow I have decided to write a post about my bag of tricks I use to keep on keeping on when the going gets tough.

1. Break it down: and down and down and down. I find it really helpful to break the race into manageable chunks. This is hardly a novel concept but I find as I get more fatigued, I make the chunks ever smaller until I am literally telling myself to just get to the next traffic light... the next parked car.... the madly barking dog... and as I make my way to each milestone I tell myself that ALL I have to do is to get there and then if I really want to, I can stop. And in the moment, I actually manage to convince myself that is true (that I will stop if I really want to). I have convinced myself of this over a dozen consecutive times. One part of my brain must be incredibly persuasive while another must be very easily fooled.

2. Reassess: sometimes I find that I simply assume I am feeling bad, as in, I am 20 miles into a marathon, running on a PB pace therefore I must feel awful. However, if I make a mental sweep of my body, checking the various components, I am sometimes pleasantly surprised to realize that I don't actually feel that badly. It may sound strange that I might not automatically know that I am feeling strong but mid-race assumptions can mask my actual state.

3. Float: If I am feeling really terrible, I will allow myself to deliberately slow down until a fixed landmark in order to recoup. I recently started trying this during intervals. In my 6 X 1 km work-out, I would float the middle 300 m and I found that my total time was exactly the same as when I ran the whole interval even with the added benefit that it felt easier (which I know is counter to the basic rule of running efficiency i.e. that it is most efficient to run at an even pace).

4. Believe in the pain of my opponents: sounds very Klingon-like and a little bit mean-spirited but I do find it helpful to remind myself that everyone around me is likely suffering as much as me.

5. Walk: Yup. I walk sometimes. In fact my marathon PB was done with 3 walking breaks. One of my strengths as a runner is that I respond very well to tiny snippets of rest. This means that when I am starting to fall apart, it is often very effective for me to take a walking break (usually one minute in length and timed such that it occurs around a water station so I can take advantage of the break to get hydrated). I find when I am falling apart, a one minute walking break usually only slows my mile time down by 30-40 seconds and the next few miles are appreciably faster than before the break.

Which of these tricks will I use tomorrow I wonder?

Men and Racing.

As I go about my daily life, I feel that I am not a sexist person. However, I think that one's most honest thoughts and feelings come out when in the throws of lactic acid and oxygen deprivation in the middle of a race (racing is not unlike being drunk in that respect). I am ashamed to admit that I am often sexist when racing. I`ll be running along, doing my thing and I approach and pass a man and very often, he`ll glance over, see me and speed up. My first thought is very often... male chauvinist, doesn't want to be passed by a woman! Which is really unfair and sexist of me. I am willing to bet that 90% of the time (ok, maybe 80%) the guy doesn't care that he is being passed by a woman... I bet, as a runner, he either a) cares that he is being passed by a PERSON or b) wants to use the person passing him to run a faster time which is, after all, what racing is all about. In other words, I bet I am usually the one inserting gender into the equation, not this poor, unsuspecting guy who is being subject to horribly, venomous thoughts inside by lactic acid addled brain. Very often when I do pass a guy, once I am obviously past him, he will cheer for me or tell me what place he thinks I am in (insert the shame spiral here). So, anyway, this sexist presumption of mine is something I am trying to work on.

On a related tangent, I had a strange experience at my last race - the 12 km. With about a mile to go, I was closing in on this man and had been using him for awhile as a motivator to keep me going. As I caught up to him and passed him, he immediately picked it up and started running with me. So at first I made my usual, horrible assumption that he didn't want to be passed by a woman but then I noticed he was running right next to me, practically matching me stride for stride. Then I wondered if he was trying to help me but it was a really windy day and if he really wanted to help, he should have run in front of me but he was stuck to my side. Anyway we had less than a km to go and I felt this weird pressure having him RIGHT there (definitely in my personal space) and also like he was raining on my parade as I had run most of this race alone. So I decided to try to drop him and started surging a good 800 m from the finish line and I am talking finishing kick speed... and he stayed RIGHT THERE, stride for stride, in my personal space. I couldn't maintain that speed for long so I dropped back and he dropped back with me and stayed RIGHT THERE. So, for the first time ever, I deliberately slowed down almost to a walk, I was just desperate to get rid of him (really not sure why) AND HE DID TO! Finally I rasped at him: "Dai, dai, lasci me... fai la tua gara!" which the part of my brain that speaks Italian thinks means "Go go, leave me alone, run your own race." He looked very surprised, a little hurt and off he went.

I am not sure why he elicited such a strong reaction from me (and I think I would have had the same reaction to a woman... it wasn't a gender thing, it was a person thing). It was just so intensely irritating. It reminded me of the imitating thing kids do to annoy each other, you know: "Stop COPYING me!" "Stop COPYING me!", "Mom, she's COPYING ME!", "Mom, she's COPYING ME", "You're a BIG DUMB STUPIDHEAD", "YOU'RE a BIG DUMB STUPIDHEAD." (Why did it take me 30 years to figure out the correct strategy is to say: [Insert best friend's name] is a big dumb stupidhead??) Anyhow after my little temper tantrum with 500 m to go, I finished about 3 seconds behind him. I found him at the ristoro (isn't that a great word for refreshment??) table and apologized. He also apologized and was a bit confused (by both my bad Italian and the situation) anyway it was all good - though I couldn't help but notice that he made a big deal about how he's not in good shape right now :).

All that to say, I am working on my mid-race presumptions and attitudes. File THAT under: goals, qualitative :)

My arch rival

Though the pleasures and rewards of running are many and varied, I have to admit that my greatest pleasure used to be beating this one particular girl. She's always at the same races as me and I used to beat her all the time. Lately however she is pulling away from me, actually her performances are constant; I am falling back. I have my excuses lined up: she's four years younger than I am, she didn't have two years of trying to conceive and then a pregnancy and then a C-section, she trains harder, more consistently and more intelligently than I do. Regardless, there are huge implications if I can no longer beat her: it means that my fastest times are behind me which means that I can no longer achieve my fundamental goal as a runner. Because, you see, that girl is me... four years ago. In 2006/2007, I set personal bests in every distance from 5 km to the marathon. Those performances were deeply satisfying to me because ultimately I run to see how fast I can drive my body to go and it was a thrill to be along for the ride as my body went faster than ever before.

Fast forward four years. My training times are slower. My races are slower. I am still riding the post-pardum excuse but after this spring season I no longer think that excuse will be valid. I might have to face the fact that at 35, I may never be as fast as I was. As an aside, I don't think it is because I am 35, I think under the right circumstances runners can continue to improve well into their forties and even fifties if they have started running later in life. In my case though, I have 20 years of pounding on my legs and my current personal bests were achieved with arduous training and laser-like focus. I don't forsee having the time nor perhaps the drive to train even harder than I did in 2006/07 to reap the benefit of new personal bests.

Which leaves me wondering, if my biggest motivator for training and racing is no longer viable, why run? I can think of tons of reasons from the vain: stay thin(ish), to the more profound: running is my identity and my community, to the obvious: I just really, really love it. But I have to admit, without being able to beat myself, it feels like something is missing. One souvenir I really wanted to take home with me after this year in Italy was a personal best run on Italian soil (well I am definitely going to run a personal best over 12.3 kilometers next week-end :) - but I wanted a PB in one of the standard distances).

My goal race, a half marathon on a very fast course, is in seven weeks. This will probably be my best chance to beat my current personal best before I return to work. In a sense this race will define my running from now on. Will I still be striving to run faster than I ever have before or will I be seeking other, more subtle rewards?

Best road race prize EVER!

I think I mentioned in another post that Italian prizes for races are amazing, useful, fun. I have won huge bags of groceries. I once got a bottle of wine and a box of cookies JUST FOR returning my chip! Thanks for coming out! Have some wine! But yesterday I found out about a prize at an upcoming road race that really takes the cake (speaking of cake, that's what I got at provincial XC Champs a few weeks back). Ok, first let me explain how one goes about winning the prize. It is awarded to the person who LOWERS their age category time relative to last year's winner in their age category by the largest margin. I think it is really interesting because it combines fast running and dumb luck. Obviously one has to run fast to win their age category BUT one also has to be lucky to be in a category that had a soft time the previous year. So... what is the prize? An all-expenses paid trip to the London Marathon in 2011!! I suddenly find myself way more motivated for this race. I was not too fired up for it before because it is a hilly 12.3 km which is such a random distance BUT I could get excited about London 2011 (please don't interpret that as a cocky statement that I think I am going to win... but a girl can dream). I have the dumb luck part covered b/c last year's 35-39 winning time is soft relative to the other age categories. As for the fast running part of it, we'll see. At least I know I will run a personal best for 12.3 km :)