Sunday, March 23, 2014

You have chosen...

So, as alluded to in previous posts, I made some pretty big life decisions in the past month or so. I chose from several possible, appealing options and am now living the consequences of that choice.  I feel like I am walking around waiting for one of two verdicts, this:



or this:




I guess that makes it sound like it is all external i.e. I am sitting around waiting to see if my new situation is ideal or otherwise. Meanwhile I am (sometimes) adult enough to know that any situation will be in large part what I make of it. But I am struggling a ton. Struggling with the fact that no one really knows me (and those who want to get to know me are probably put off by the 11th century Grail Knight looming over my shoulder). I am struggling also with my always overly developed sense of nostalgia; seriously, I was once nostalgic for a particular telephone booths! I am also, I am sure, somewhat over-romanticizing my last position. I am also struggling with what I can only imagine is a little touch of depression (or perhaps over-training - one or the other is making it very difficult to stay awake past 8.00 pm).

So... I need to take action. I need to read more material that will be helpful in my new job. I need to eat better (more green vegetables). I need to drink more (well I need to drink less wine but more water). I need to stop running on the treadmill all the time because I think it is making me tired, injured and therefore sluggish and unhappy. I need to keep my chin up and a positive attitude and remember that one of my strengths is being able to figure out how to make myself useful and engaged in unfamiliar situations. And I need to listen to Robert Eddison say "He chose poorly" about 30 times in a row because it makes me laugh. And laughing is good. Laughing is good.

5 comments:

  1. Big changes - it's like breaking up with someone you liked but you knew wasn't going to make you happy in the longterm. Missing them doesn't mean you wouldn't make the same decision again. You are right to be aware of it but I think I'd still indulge it a little, you are mourning a loss too.. Besides, when else would you get to bed at 8 in the evening and be able to justify it as reasonable.
    The decision is made, it'll be a while before the fit is as comfortable as you'd like but it will get there. No regrets!

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  2. Lots of big changes! I too need to drink less wine but I like wine ;)

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