Sunday, January 6, 2013


Even though theoretically one should not need to wait for one particular day out of 365, I love New Years resolutions. I almost always make them and have only marginal success in keeping them. This year's resolutions feel important somehow and I am going to give it a sub-3 hour marathon effort to make them stick.

First, and I am embarassed to have to write this but... here goes. Stop yelling. There is only person in my life who I yell at and probably everyone can guess who she (hint) is. I was not a yeller until I became a mother and am appalled to transform into an ugly, old yeller about 2.5 years into motherhood. There are countless, excellent reasons I am determined to stop but the most compelling is nothing more than this: she has started to yell back. One day, in the midst of yelling at her "stop yelling at me"... the irony suddenly beat me over the head like a 2 X 4. No more yelling in this house (we were the only two doing it). I had a long, honest talk with her in which I explained I was not going to yell anymore. I did many, over-the-top imitations of "ugly yelling mom". We both laughed. Than I explained to her that it was equally ugly when she yelled. Finally I said this was going to be a yell-free house. Period. Ok, so it hasn't been the magic solution to curbing bad pre-schooler behaviour but it the difference has been startling. I don't yell anymore. Period. She still yells but quickly stops when I remind her. She no longer gets the satisfaction of seeing me lose my cool (because on some level she definitely enjoyed seeing me lose it) and I like myself better, my husband likes the dynamic in the house better and well there isn't peace in the valley yet, but we're getting there.

Second, and actually I am also somewhat embarassed to write this because I think that perhaps I won't have a sympathetic audience to this one... dress and groom more attractively. Hubby likes the heels, the stockings, the make-up, shaved legs and armpits (ok, yes, most men like that!) and, well, those things just aren't me (yes, I do shave my legs and armpits... I mean mostly I do, when I remember). Anyway I am making an effort to look more attractive more of the time. Maybe it's shallow, maybe it's unfeminist, maybe he should just love me the way I am ... who knows. It makes him happy and it's not such a big effort. Also, to put this in the right context, I am a really sloppy dresser i.e. this (last picture in the post) is how I look most of the time even at work (minus the toothbrush in my mouth).

Third, reduce our grocery bills (inspired by Ingrid). I am spending January tracking our grocery bills (and am already horrified!) and once I have a baseline, I will begin implementing some frugality.

So, in brief, I resolve to look attractive, stop yelling at my family and stop feeding my family. :)


  1. I think I have written at least 5 blogs where moms talked about yelling less. I think the yelling has less to do with the mom and more to do with the toddler - they LOVE to see how parents lose control! I remember very well from my little guy, the smile on his face when either myself or his dad "lost it". He loved it! It is much easier when kids are older and one can actually reason with 2.5, that is hard!

    Good luck with the resolutions! You look great in that pic - my typical weekend attire. Wish I could dress like that at work:)

  2. I like your resolutions. They are serious things! I should do the same ones.

    I eat way too much. I never tracked how much I spend but I might try. But now I am little scared about the number I will see:) You know what I realized though? I spend much more on food now that I have a car. Before I had to think twice before buying something because I had to carry it in my backpack. But now I can buy 16 pounds of oranges (true story) whenever I want to. Moral of the story: bike to grocery store.

    And about effort to be more attractive...well, let me just tell you that when your 50 year-old father tells you that you dress like a bum and takes you cloths are in trouble. Well, I mean I am in trouble.

  3. My resolution: try to be more pleasant. It's not that I'm particularly nasty by nature, but I do seem to come off as some kind of ogre sometimes. But I don't yell - ever.

    @mmmonyka: Without a car, I had to carry a gallon of milk 1.5 km from the nearest store. It made me thinking about veganism a lot. (and in the few photos I've seen of you, you look fine. Now I'm stuck thinking I'm as old as your dad)

  4. "Had me thinking" or "made me think" - oops.