I promise this won't be a totally, self-indulgent, whining post, I just couldn't resist using that as a title. Who needs to go higher, faster, stronger when fatter, slower, weaker is just oh, so much easier??
So, yes, I raced this week-end [ed: now last week-end because it has taken me this long to post this post] and it was oh... so.... slow. I seriously would have sworn the course was long had it not had a certification number. I thought, FOR SURE, I was in shape for a 38:30 and, though I didn't admit it to, well, me, I actually felt like I might surprise myself with my first sub-38 of 2011. Well the gun went off and my body sure felt like it was running goal pace, somewhere between 3:48-3:51 per km. Only problem was I would hit 3:48, look up, and the kilometer marker would still be many meters distant. Ugly, just ugly. One bright spot is that I scored high in my age category. Normally I don't care about placing but this race is part of a series that I would really like to win because the prize is - free entry into all of next year's races. Sweet. The other bright spot is that la cocotte totally NAILED the monkey bars in the minutes prior to the race.
So yes, I am getting slower - a 39:01 10 km is definitely worse than an 18:29 5 km. I am getting fatter - clothing does not fit well, numbers on the scale are marching ever upwards and I could literally feel that with every foot strike propels me less far as my beer belly drags me persistently to the ground (oh wait, I promised no self indulgent whining). I am getting weaker - I can feel everything wobbling every which way as my core strength dwindles away. Here's the part I don't get - why is all of this happening when I am slacking off on training, not doing intervals, overeating, drinking too much beer? Why am I NOT immune to the fundamental laws of physiology and, perhaps, physics? Ok, seriously, here's the part I REALLY don't get. WHY am I overeating, drinking too much beer, not training hard etc. THAT the is the part I need to figure out.
This week-end in desperation I browsed over to the Canadian We.ig.ht Wa.tche.r's site. I figured a program from them might provide the structure and discipline I am lacking. I also figured that actually paying money might incentivize me to stick to a plan. Their homepage asks for weight, height, gender and birth date. After plugging in my info, I was told that their online programs are not suitable for me because of my height and weight - read: I am not above their minimum healthy weight. I was told to eat some more ice cream, drink some more beer and get back to them. (no, not really).
What to do... only eat when I am hungry? Drink lots of water? Exercise? Eat high fibre foods, lots of vegetables and lean protein? That's just crazy talk! So, of course I instead, went BACK to the W.eigh.t Wat.cher's site and LIED about my height and presto bingo they took my money. I am now the proud owner of a fictitious 5'4" body. Ok, I realize this makes me sound absolutely a) crazy b) annoying to be whining about my weight when I am not even above the WW minimum c) annoying to be whining about ANYTHING related to my body when I have a happy, healthy body that generally lets me do whatever I want.... BUT... okay, I have no but (I have an ever widening butT but that's another story). No, wait, I DO have a but. BUT my goals require a lean, athletic body and this is something for whatever reason I am having a hard time maintaining. I feel like this is the beginning of a slippery slope. If I let these 7 pounds linger, 7 will become 10, 10 will become 15... It's a slippery slope I tell you! Not unlike using bad cliches like "slippery slope" in one's writing or words like "incentivize" that don't actually exist - eventually one's writing disintegrates into a jumble of incoherent, boring nonsense.
Bottom line - I am signed up with Wei.g.h.t Wat.che.r's. I am not crazy. I just want to get back to my fighting weight. A weight where my clothing fits. A weight where I feel strong and light while running.