1. Small: I am fat and out shape. But I am aware enough to realize my fatness and out of shapeness exists only on the runner scale. On the general population scale I am nicely average. My first clue that I have packed on some pounds is always that my hubby finds me attractive. Given my primary mission right now, getting knocked up, being fat & out of shape on the runner scale is probably where I want to be. So it's okay. One weird thing I have noticed in my post-pardum body: i used to gain weight on my thighs and butt but keep a flat stomach. Now I have the thighs I always wanted but a nicely burgeoning pot belly. What's up with that? Hormonal changes after pregnancy? Aging affecting fat storage? Why have I morphed from pear to apple?
2. Small: I did not know of Justin Beaver's existence until last week. Then I spent a week thinking he was Justin Beaver. I have since been educated and now know that his name is, in fact, Justin Bieber. I am strangely proud of this.
3. Medium (but very disturbing): I cannot name, without googling it, all of the countries in North Africa & the Middle East in which there are protests and revolutions occurring. Although I realize that change is sweeping through this region and that this series of uprisings is and will be of great historical importance. I only have the vaguest idea of what is going on. I am deeply ashamed of my ignorance.
4. Medium: 95% of my caloric intake these past few weeks has been from simple carbs and refined sugar. This no doubt explains, in part, #1. I realize this is far from ideal but I did not realize how far off track I had gotten until I read SteveQ's post about his diet. Waaaaaaay off track.
5. Medium: I am hiring. I recently had to chose between excellent grades and excellent interviewing skills. I chose the former. My decision was deeply impacted by recent happenings at work. On a different day or in a different context, I might have chosen the latter. Important outcomes are so often influenced by hidden factors, factors far beyond the control of the person seeking the outcome. It is so important not to get discouraged by a "no" because it very often has only peripheral bearing on the person being told no.
6. Off-the-scale-huge: I continue to wrestle with terrible emotional angst and conflict. This journey has been life altering, painful (in so many ways). It is far from over. I am somewhat wiser. I am trying to get to where I need to be. But if I ever arrive, I realize that my piece is only half the puzzle. I have no control over the other half. I didn't really realize until I wrote this that this is very much related to #5.
7. Small: I did a kick ass work-out today (despite #1). 10 miles with a downwards ladder of intervals: 2.4 km (@3:57 per km), 2 km (@3:53 per km), 1.6 km (@3:47 per km), 1.2 km (@3:47 per km), 0.8km (@3:45 per km).
8. Large: La cocotte's vocabulary has exploded. She does not speak much but she can readily identify many household objects and pictures in her books. It is so strange that suddenly, when I ask her where her nose is, she knows! She understands! There has been processing going on in that adorable pumpkin head of hers. I mean, of course there has been processing, but here is irrefutable evidence that she gets it. Also frightening because if she understands when I ask her where her or my nose is, maybe she also understands when I let lose a string of curses when I drop a bag of groceries on the floor. Other newly acquired skills include,
* disposing of her own diaper in the diaper pail after diaper change time (cute but problematic bc she wants to do it IMMEDIATELY after the dirty diaper comes off which often results in my chasing my bare bummed toddler around the house trying to diaper her before she lets loose!).
* bringing daddy his glasses and watch and putting both on him in the morning (this no doubt means "Up! Up! get UP! and play with me").
*signing more for more juice
* completing puzzles (those wooden cut-out type puzzles)
* opening doors (she has been able to close them for a long time)
9. Large: I really, really want to get pregnant this month. Statistically I will not. Did you know that humans are one of the least fertile mammalian species? I am trying to work on being okay if I never have another child. I have so many things to be thankful for, it seems almost selfish to ask for the gift of another child. I have so many other areas in my life that could desperately use some of my time and energy. Yet the yearning remains.