Conversation between me and an acquaintance (also on maternity leave) yesterday via text:
her: Stevie starts daycare today, only for 2 hours. How am I going to kill two hours?
me: (assuming sarcasm) ha ha ha
her: no really, what am I supposed to do for two hours?
me: (assuming she is unfamiliar with daycare process) do you mean are you supposed to stay with Stevie at daycare?
her: no, I am supposed to leave. What do I do for two hours?
I was too stunned and disturbed to respond. Nevermind the mental imagine of "killing" two hours (as opposed to living, enjoying, relishing, making use of) but the thought that an adult could not find a way to make use of two hours was so very disturbing to me. I don't think I know a single person (okay, except her I guess) who, if gifted (yes GIFTED) two free hours IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, would not immediately think of three dozen amazing things to do and probably waste the first 20 minutes in a delirious daze wondering where to begin. This is true of everyone (ok,almost everyone) I know, parents and the child-free, runners and the more sedentary, educated and not.... what adult would not somersault backwards with joy if granted two free daytime hours?
It's the most worried I have been about someone in awhile.
This made me laugh:)
ReplyDeleteBut now that I think about it, I wonder whether this woman was actualy anxious to leave her baby in daycare for 2 hours.
I'm dreading leaving my little guy with someone else. I'm guessing it was more feeling lost than not having something to do.
ReplyDeletehave been thinking about this post for awhile and it was pretty insensitive of me. tempted to delete it but have decided to own it and keep my jerkiness as part of the archive.
ReplyDeleteIs it her first? I remember when MLK became my favorite holiday because work was closed but daycare was open. My excitement for the holiday horrified one of my friends.
ReplyDeleteOkay maybe I am in the minority here but I looked forward to "me time" from day 1 of motherhood and still remember the strange remarks I got when I returned to work and told people I was actually happy to be back and have some adult time. I think it is so ingrained in us as women that it is wrong to want to leave or kids even for a short time but we need this and I think this is difficult for many moms to accept as okay :)
ReplyDeleteI love my kids. I love my me time. I see the two as being independent. This post was more a reaction to someone not knowing what to do with two hours of free time because to me someone who is engaged in life should have no trouble filling two hours. But the reality probably is that she was anxious about leaving her child and I was being insensitive and judgemental... but yes, I DO love my me time for sure!!
ReplyDeleteLike Ana Maria and "anonymous", I think she was just very anxious leaving her baby in day care. Although I could NOT be a full time mum for ever, although I do love my ME time, although I enjoy working and havibg adult conversations, I found it, very, very difficult to leave N°1, and felt the same way a couple of weeks ago with N°2. I (obviously) did go for a run to "kill time" while waiting for the time I was supposed to go and pick her up, but although I did enjoy my run, I missed her dearly and could not get her off my mind... Oh, and just in cas ethat was not tricky enough as it is, there is definitely, as far as I am concerned, a lot of "she's only 6 months old and I should be the one looking after her, not some - no matter how competent and nice - other woman in day care... my (long) 2p...
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