Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Random things that everyone seems to love that leave me cold

1. Jazz. Please don't tell me in pompous tones that it's because I don't understand it. I don't. I have no desire to. It's long, amelodious (yes, I just made that word up) and it hurts my ears. What am I missing? Actually don't answer that. I don't want to be convinced. Please leave me to my dislike.

2. Music in general. Ok, that one is really weird. Granted. How can I not like music? It's not that I don't like it. I'm not just not as into it as other people seem to be. In fact until the birth of my second child (i.e. 3 weeks ago) when I started doing all my running at home on the treadmill and pulled out my ancient mp3 player, I probably had not consciously turned on music to listen to in over 3 months (not counting putting on the Pointer Sisters in the evening to dance to with la cocotte). I probably spend less than an hour a week listening to music. In all honesty, I did not know who Lady Gaga was until my colleague went to her concert a few months ago. The look of shock on her face when her post-concert rundown drew a complete blank from me was impressive. I enjoy music when I hear it but I don't really miss it when it's gone. And when I play music, I am told I have appalling taste. I won't give you a for instance...

3. Other people's children. I feel like a giant, flaming asshole writing that. It's not the sort of thing one is supposed to admit. I have never really been a baby/toddler/young child person. I'm actually quite shy and awkward around them - well I used to be until I had my own and finally figured out how to relate but I am not the natural that many people (including those without children) seem to be. I'm crazy about my own offspring (as this blog hopefully occasionally shows) and I enjoy the offspring of people I know but I don't actively seek out children at social gatherings etc.

4. Gray's Anatomy. Or any hospital drama for that matter. After going through some real-life hospital dramas with loved ones, I find hospital-drama-as-entertainment mildly repugnant at best, offensive at worst.

5. Red Velvet. I don't get it. What's the deal? The cream cheese icing, yum, I'm in. The cake part? It's just a cake, not chocolate, not vanilla, just some indistinct cakey flavour.

6. The Hunger Games. Haven't read it so I don't know for a fact that I don't like it. What I can say is that I cannot stomach dystopian tales ever since I became a mother. An effective tale of dystopia is close enough to our reality that the reader buys that the world being described could come to be. Margaret Atwood did a chilling job in her "Oryx and Crake". I bought it. It terrified and depressed me thinking this was a world I was potentially leaving behind for my childrens. No Hunger Games for me.

7. Raindrops on roses. Well, actually cultivated flowers in general. Brace yourself for the punchline. I have a masters in freaking BOTANY*. I know right?? Gardens should be for growing consumable food! Nothing bores me to tears more than looking at someone's flower garden. I don't get it. It's hours and hours and hours of work, and you can't even eat it! Do I like it when hubby brings me home cut flowers? Of course I LOVE that he thought of me especially when brings my favorite (sunflowers, yes, I don't like cultivated flowers yet I have a favorite) but I can really get by without seeing them growing in someone's backyard. Now wildflowers in a field or shaded forest floor or delicate wetland flowers, that I can appreciate the beauty of even when they are not edible.

8. Whiskers on kittens. And not just the whiskers. The whole kitten. Kittens become cats. Not such a cat person.

9. Almost all poetry. Yawn. yes I know that speaks volumes about me, not about poetry. Well, there you have it.

10. The Big Bang Theory. This wildly popular show bores me to tears. And I don't mean to imply that I am so high brow in my tastes that popular culture does not appeal to me. I can watch Modern Family and The Office (until this season) as well as 30 Rock by the hour. I adored the show Scrubs which is about as low brow as one can get (I know hospital comedy = ok, hospital drama = offensive, a little hypocritical - I guess its because dramas try to elicit emotional investment which I resent).

11. Raisins. Evil, brown wreckers of otherwise perfectly good deserts!


  1. With you on the Jazz (seriously, WHERE is the beat?); other people's children (unless they are super duper cute and apparently like me despite my kid-awkwardness); a degree in Botany - ha!! But I like wilness of nature too, Brett loves tulips, I strongly dislike their symmetry; whiskers on kittens?? Yowch, tough love. poetry? would love to feel cultured enough to like it but...no. I was okay at writing haikus in school though!! Nice random post.

  2. I am with you on EVERYTHING! I do not like cats (any animal for that matter unless it is on my plate), do not understand poetry, does not listen to music (I have mp3 player but I have had the same music in it for last 6 years. Jazz belongs to this category), I used to tell off my bf when he brought me flowers, I would prefer chocolates, not a baby person (although I am ok with them since I have younger sis and cousins), have no idea what The Big Bang Theory is and do not watch any shows (ok, I like some shows e.g. That 70's shows and Reba), have no desire to see Hunger Games (not interested in anything that shows future unless it starts Arnold Schwarzenegger). Raisins, well, have not thought about it although I once ate raisins for lunch and did not feel very good afterwards so not a huge fan since.

  3. Oh my. We must respectfully agree to disagree on almost all of the above. But that doesn't matter since I found it quite entertaining :). Okay, a lot of jazz is annoying, granted, but some of it wonderful! I don't like Gray's Anatomy either and haven't seen the Hunger Games. Otherwise, hmmmm.

  4. Ha ha. Just had to reread it. I thought you actually disliked the big bang theory as a theory. I was going to ask what you thought about quantum theory, but I can now see you are talking about tv. So I'm guessing we agree on that one since I absolutely hate tv. With very rare exceptions.

  5. Love this list! Only disagreement with you is on red velvet cake. But you need to have the real cake made by a southern grandma with cocoa in it. Although personally I just love it so because of the cream cheese icing. I will order carrot cake at ancy restaurants and only eat the icing.

  6. Love this list, especially the kid one! I have to disagree withyou on The Big Bang Theory, I am married to a scientist which really helps me see the humor in it.

  7. I recently posted the fact that I've never had red velvet cake, which is weird given that I live on baked desserts. Never eaten a Peep, either.

    I like some jazz quite a bit and hate some and hate even the stuff I like when I didn't choose to listen to it and it just shows up as background noise.

    And I write poetry as well as read it, so we differ there, too. [Thanks again for the Weldon Kees volume you sent me!]

    I might see The Hunger Games if it shows up on broadcast TV some day when I'm bored, which is how I saw Twilight and 4 or 5 Harry Potter movies. I haven't read any of the books.

  8. Oh, and it REALLY bothers me that the opening theme to The Big Bang Theory has the line "the autotrophs began to drool," as autotrophs consist of plants and purple sulfur bacteria, neither of which can drool.

    And while I don't have kids, I like to watch WordGirl and Curious George.

  9. Big Bang Theory - hate, though to be honest I've never sat through an entire episode... I just find what I have caught to be trite and not funny. (Thumbs up for Modern Family, 30 Rock, and the Office, though.) Kids other than my own - mostly strongly dislike, but like those belonging to friends if they're well-behaved. Or sometimes students I like... if they practice. Obviously, as a musician, I can't agree with the music thing though I will say that it doesn't do for me what it once did... maybe why I'm considering a career change. I refuse to read or see Hunger Games. There are just some things one can't un-see. Oh, and I have never had any interest in flowers. I didn't even have any at my wedding (though to be fair, we eloped). I just didn't care. My 4 year old got some zinnia seeds from her cello teacher and yesterday I fumbly 'planted' them in one of our neglected flower beds. I think she is going to be greatly disappointed.

  10. I had to stop after "giant flaming asshole" the other day, but picked up your post again today.

    Hopefully this isn't some post-partum negativity? Just making sure.

    I watched Hunger Games with my tweenager and it has become a source of inside jokes (like "calm down, girl from District 2", but the movie itself wasn't all that good. The same movie was made 25 years ago as "Running Man" with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the lead.