Monday, August 19, 2013

The little things I don't want to forget

Being asked to sing the alphabet song over and over again with the order "ABC encore!". Barely getting to the last word of "c'est a toi de le chanter" before Thing 2 order "encore, ABC encore!". it is the first and undoubtedly only time in my life that my singing will be encored.

Hearing her sing the ABC song: "A, B C, D eee eee eee. eee. eee. eee. eee. L M N eee eee".

Having my shoes brought to me by Thing 2 when it becomes apparent that we will be leaving the house imminently. Any random, adult-sized pair of shoes will do and are forcibly thrust upon my feet by her tiny, inevitably sticky, grasping paws.

Hearing her have long conversations with herself that seem to involve the asking and answering of questions:
"Do gu hag a leef looo ha?" she will ask with an unmistakable question mark inflection at the end. This is followed by a long pause during which time she is presumably trying to think of the answer. Then without fail, a few seconds later after she figures it out she will answer herself: "No, no, no, no" accompanied by vigorous head shaking.

The frustrating cycle of: sippy cup deliberately being hurled (her), wailing and groaning (her), sippy cup retrieval (me), sippy cup hurling (repeat ad infinitum). One memorable day as I grew visibly frustrated with the situation Thing 1 finally weighed in on the matter with her opinion: "Mais tu sais maman, je t'avais dit qu'on avait pas besoin de ce bébé." [See mom, I told you we didn't need this baby.]

The certainty with which Thing 2 will name all the cars driving by on the road: "ca!", "ca!", "ca!".

Her first attempt at peeing in the potty - announcing pee pee! Taking off her diaper, toddling over to the potty and peeing gracefully right on the floor right next to it.

The way Thing 2 says "wow" in perfect imitation of me when I admire one of Thing 1's drawing... a long, drawn out, some what exaggerated "Wooooow!", esepcially when Thing 2 WOWs her OWN drawing. 

The care with which she will change her dolly's diaper, put her dolly to bed and push her dolly around in the stroller.

Her tousled head and giant smile in the morning. 

Her spoken vocabulary at 17 months:

-ABC
-encore
-ballon (applies to all ball shaped objects including round fruits)
-caca
-peepee
-mama
-papa
-ca (perhaps she says car with a Boston accent from listening to too much car talk on NPR)
-bébé
-nounou (Thing 1's word for the pacifier)
-Non
-lait
-joooos (juice)
-dis (this)
-pees (please)
-uh oh (used often in a context approrpiate manner)
-chaud
-dodo
-bobo
-en haut
-en bas
-de l'eau
-bateau
-wow

Thing 2`s assertion that Thing 1 is a boy and her determination to trade her in for an older sister or brother.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Race Report: Tentatively Moving in the Right Direction

Progress tonight. 18:43 5 km. 3:39, 3:48, 3:49, 3:49, 3:38. My best race in a good long while. Never mind that I ran 18:09 at this race last year. Never mind that 18:43 used to be a slow(ish) split through 10 km. Never mind that I got beat by a women in a running skirt. I am just going to focus on the fact that it is a tentative step in the right direction. And I am going to keep talking those steps. And I am going to stop thinking and just execute the plan (towards that end I now have me a training plan made by a coach other than me so I really don't have to think at all, except about Monika's plan, and that's ok because I don't have to run it :) ). And, most important, I am just going to enjoy my 18.43.

The real story of the evening was Thing 1 who ran a whopping 5 MINUTE PB in the 1 km... you have to love being 4 - 1 km race, 5 minute PB - 7:11. Talk about being on the steep part of the improvement curve! I would have to run an ultra to PB by 5 minutes at this point. And can I say, without any bias or hidden agenda, that she just looked heart breakingly beautiful doing it. She was enthralled with the whole experience, moving with an amazingly smooth stride that she did not inherit from me and she just had the time of her life. Perhaps the best part was that she had absolutely no interest in beating the other children, she just ran seemingly for the sheer joy of running. I won't push her into running but as long as she continues to ask if she can run a race... how can I say no to the occasional 1 km?

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Race Report: Still a lot of work to do

Disappointing best captures my race this morning. It was a 20 km, so I was hoping that I could jog a 1:25 which would be 1:30 half marathon pace. I went out at 4:12 pace which I thought was totally conservative. Not so. My splits tell the story:

4:12
4:06
4:22 (big climb)
4:07
4:17 (21:06 5 km)
4:21 (changed goal to running every km under 4:20)
4:25 (changed goal to running everykm under 4:30)
4:03 (big descent)
4:21
4:21 (42:40 10 km, 21:34 from 5-10 km)
4:33 (changed goal to running every km under 5 minutes)
4:29
4:36 (asked my friend Mark who was spectating next to his truck for a lift, he assumed I was kidding)
4:11
4:27 (1:04:58 15 km, 22:18 from 10 km - 15 km)
5:00 (took a one minute walking break)
5:21 (took a 45 second walking break and got passed by the second place woman after leading for 17 km... there was nothing to be done about it unfortuately)
4:09 (big descent and noticed another woman less than 10 m behind me who was presumably buoyed by the walking breaks she would have witnessed)
4:54 (big climb, noticed that despite the very slow km the woman did not get any closer, asked my friend Jack who was spectating to borrow his bike)
3:57 (fastest km at the end of the slowest 5 km, but really did not want to get passed in the last km AGAIN after leading for so long. total time 1:28:21, 23:23 from 15 km - 20 km ouch).

So yeah, discouraging. My distress was all muscular. I was laughing and talking with people, making jokes all along i.e. I could breathe just fine but the large muscles in my legs and butt just rebelled. I absolutely could not turn-over. I tried different tactics, the walking breaks, taking smaller steps, getting up on my toes... I just could not get any performance out of my legs after about 14 km. So it's tough mentally to realize that a sub-1:30 half marathon is not necessarily a guarantee. But what can you do?

Make a mental list of all the typed of people I hate getting beat by to pass the time which is exactly what I did between 14 and 17 km. I fear I may offend some readers for which I apologize but if it helps you can put "people who make petty lists" onto your list of people TO beat at your next race. Here goes:

1. People listening to music. Snobby of me, I know...

2. Women wearing skirts (made even more pathetic by the fact that I am regularly beaten by skirts)

3. People with compression socks that end at their ankles, seems so gimicky (totally hypocritical since I own and ran in compression socks today). Why is a compression sock ok but not a compression leg warmer? You'll have to ask the petty part of my brain because I really don't know offhand.

4. People my age (ish) who I used to beat easily. (just a tough pill to swallow somehow)

5. People who I do not like.

6. People pushing baby jogers. Unless it is Mo Farah going by with his twins, I am not ready to accept being beaten in a race by someone pushing a jogger (Yes, I do know that there are countless men and women far slower than Mo Farah who could beat me while pushing a double baby jogger but they don't happen to show up at my local races - at least not with their double jogger.)

7. People.

So there you have it - me at my grumpiest and most petty.

On the other hand, here are some folk I honestly enjoy being beat by:

1. Women much older than I (hope for the future)

2. People who I like.

3. Heavier athletes. I love all evidence  against the thinking thin = fast.

4. People who I know have been training much harder than I (unless they fall into any of the categories in the first list)

So yeah, much more work to do before I have a guaranteed sub 1:30.

The second part of the day i.e. The Big Poopa's fourth birthday party went as well as the race went badly. Huge success. Only minor meltdowns. Enough food. Kids loved the place we held the party. Kids got along. Parents seemed to have a great time despite the lack of alcohol. That was my only regret about the birthday we planned, we could not serve proper adult refreshments (the trade off for not having to clean our home before and after 10 children tore through it). Am I a total degenrerate or is alcohol (for the parents only) not a key component of a successful birthday party no matter what time of day it is held?

Saturday, August 3, 2013

The Plan

In October of 2014, I will reach the age people seem to love to hate, I will turn 480 months old. While there is, as far as I know, no sequel to "What to expect in the first year" that extends to my age to tell me what milestones to expect, I am guessing: increased wisdom, beginnings of hot flashes (me genetic heritage), feeling even more comfortable in my skin, increasing irritation with "today's youth" (hopefully not including the ones I birthed but probably), decreased muscle mass and metabolism, decreased fast twitch muscle, better eyesight, further degradation to my poor beleaguered achilles tendons among many other positives and negatives.

I am determined to make 480 months a cause for celebration and something to look forward to rather than an angst-filled occasion. Actually, my hope is for it to be much like any other birthday with one exception. I would like to run the NYC marathon in November 2014 to put a stamp of "I'm ok with it" on the year. So... working backwards, I need to run a sub-1:30 marathon by the end January 2014 to have a guaranteed entry. I have picked a flat, mid-October half marathon as my target race. I am hoping to run much faster than 1:30....ideally sub-1:25 but with my still unexplained marked decrease in velocity this year, I will take a sub-1:30.

Tomorrow I am challenging myself over a hilly 20 km race to see how far away I am now from being able to run sub-1:30. Hopefully the answer is that I could run a 1:30 half tomorrow (were the race 1.1 km longer); I am cautiously optimistic. Then... to complete the challenge, in the afternoon is the Big Poopa's fourth birthday party - a double header if you will - am: 20 km race, pm: entertaining 11 children and their parents. The biggest question is - which one will take more energy & endurance??

Friday, August 2, 2013

Four years ago

Four years ago yesterday, on August 1st, just past midnight, keeping us in suspense until the end as to whether she would be a July or August baby, born the traditional way or Macbeth style... The Big Poopa a.k.a. Thing 1 a.k.a. La Cocotte joined our family. I vividly remember many things about that day the middle of that night. Perhaps my favorite memory was the very clinical sounds of the c-section suddenly coming to a halt and to sound of my beloved ob-gyn saying "Well, hello there." followed by the first amazing cry of our eldest child. Here is what has transpired in four years:

Day 1

~ Day 365
~Day 365 * 2
~Day 365 * 3
~Day 365 * 4

Happy Birthday Big Poopa!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Two amazing days of running and adventure

Business travel tends to be brutal on running mileage. The sleep deprivation can be even more severe than being at home with a four year old who keeps losing her pacifier and a 16 month old who (say it with me) STILL DOESN'T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT! The early and late night flights, the inevitable delays all make for long days, short sleeps ad even shorter runs. This time the stars lined up and I had two solid days of running in beautiful and interesting places as well as some adventures.

Tuesday morning I got an 8 km tempo on the hotel treadmill (not interesting or beautiful but a solid work-out and 13.8 km total). Had I known what I was going to find on Tuesday evening, I would have held back. For various reasons the work day wrapped up fairly early and I found that not far from where I had been working was a state forest! Talk about a four star running experience compared to my usual tooling around suburban strip malls or hotel treadmills while traveling. I got to the visitor's center right as it was closing to ask about a trail suitable for running and got a wide eyed stare from the forest ranger. Seriously, he just stared at me speechlessly and I was left wondering if I had broken some kind of American societal convention of which I was ignorant. When he finally broke the silence, it was to say: "Amanda, it's me, Fred." whereupon it was my turn to stare blankly. Eventually he explained that he had mistaken me for his neighbor's daughter, I guess I am her doppelganger. 

Then he proceeded to read me the riot act:

"It's extremely hot and humid and dangerous to be exerting yourself."

I was nonplussed.

"The only trail you could possibly run it the lake loop and even it's rocky and uneven and you could turn an ankle."

I remained unconcerned.

"And it's four miles long."

I had to hold myself back from making the whatever W with my hands.

"And you could easily wander off the trail."

That piqued my concern, I am a poor navigator under ideal conditions (see "Bridge George Washington, wrong exit" further down).

"And there are rattle snakes."

Now THAT got my attention.

"Though no one here has ever been bit."

I decided to focus on that.

"And there are lots of bears."

Ok, now I was officially reconsidering. From polar bears in the arctic to black bears in the Adirondaks and Yosemite, I am officially DONE with bear incidents. I have had my lifetime quota with no wish for further interaction and I sense the feeling is mutual.

Feeling duly chastised, I set out and found the trail was indeed technical (by my standards) and tricky to follow:




Nevertheless I ran out about 1.5 miles my imagination growing wilder all the time. The trail got better and worse but was generally run-able:
Then I came around a corner and came across a scene that made me freeze in my tracks. Bush upon bush drooping under the weight of perfectly ripened raspberries. Terrifying. The only mammal I know who enjoys raspberries more than me is Mr. Black Bear and though he wasn't immediately obvious I felt certain he was nearby. I wish this could be the story about how I was scared and kept going and discovered the lake, went skinny dipping, had an amazing run etc. and probably, had it been the 25 year old PPC out on this run that would have been the story I had to tell. But 38 year old PPC with too many bear encounters under her belt and suddenly very aware of the fact that no one really even knew where she was and she had not encountered anyone since entering the trail turned tail and ran. Hard. Back to the visitor's center whereupon I decided to start around the loop the other way and got to the lake very quickly:


And also found MY kind of "trail":

Ah... asphalt, with your smooth, even surface, the love affair will never end. All in all I got another 9 km in for the day and relaxed enough to tackle the next part of my adventure... DRIVING INTO MANHATTAN.

So I don't have much experience with GPSes and certainly this was the first time I had used one on my own while driving. Let's just say that things went MUCH more smoothly once I realized the GPS would actually TALK to me and I did not have to drive with one frantic eye on its screen and the other trying to watch the road. I love the GPS. So well designed. So easy to use (once you find the crucial un-mute switch!) and infinitely better than driving with one eye on the road and one eye on badly printed mapquest directions (my usual modus operanda). I have strong luddite tendencies. I only got a cell phone about 2 years ago and figured out how to text on it about 6 months ago; suffice it to say it is NOT a smart phone in fact the only thing less smart than my phone is its owner. All that being said, I am SOLD on the GPS, love having that soothing woman's voice gently reminding me of upcoming manoeuvrings. It works so well.

Except when it doesn't... like for example when you miss your turn off of the George Washington Bridge and the various other exits come up fast and furious... so fast and so furious that before GPS Lady can recalculate to bail your ass out you have already missed the next turn she wanted you to take. So I missed the Henry Hudson Parkway, then her re-calculated plan of the Harlem River Parkway, then her re-re-calculated plan of Amsterdam Avenue. It was a white knuckle, tension-filled few moments set to the sound of me berating the GPS Lady and the sound of her calm voice saying "Recalculating." Probably things would have gone better had I not been trying to take pictures like this:

But I admit to being excited about driving in Manhattan. All in all though I have to say that driving in Manhattan at 7.30 pm wrong turns and all was way less painful than I had anticipated. I would actually say it was painless, very little traffic and congestion. I returned my rental car and headed off to my hotel.

Which was, bar none, the worst hotel I have ever stayed in in my life. I should have known something was up when I entered and found a long line of angry "guests" yelling at the beleaguered and extremely pregnant receptionist. Given the volume and aggression of the conversation, it was clear something was up. Indeed, the hotel's AC was malfunctioning in many rooms (95 deg F outside) and so many people who had booked double rooms (myself included) had been moved into single rooms with no toilet or shower. And that turned out not the worst part:


The worst aspects of this room can not be seen in the picture above. The worst parts were the unimaginable stench (even worse than other stenches described later, see "Running clothes, unwashed") of some kind of cleaning product that was clearly meant to cover up an even worse stench, the fact that the AC did not work (though it worked enough to thoroughly soak almost the whole carpet with water) and the ROAR of the non-functional AC (that could not be turned off). Hot, smelly and noisy. My favorite way to sleep. I do come prepared for every sleep-related eventuality when I travel on business. In fact, I even have a protocol I follow when entering a hotel room: ensure alarm clocks are not set for ungodly hour, cover clock with t-shirt to avoid glow of numbers, unplug mini-fridge to avoid humming motor, pre-cool room so noisy ACs can be turned off before sleeping, DO NOT DISTURB sign on door, insert ear plugs before sleeping (yes, when I am away from home and there is the possibility of sleeping through the night, I OPTIMIZE it) but this situation was beyond repair.

Then and there I decided to fore go my lifelong dream of running in Central Park in the morning as I figured I would be kept awake all night by smell, noise and heat however I fell asleep at 1 am and awoke at 5.00 a feeling somewhat refreshed and decided I needed to partake in the Central Park running experience.

So first off, here is the answer to the question "is it be safe to run in Central Park at 5.30 am":


That would be "Hell, yes!". The biggest danger in running in Central Park at 5.30 am, it turns out, is that your ego will be CRUSHED by all the extremely thin, fit and fast people whizzing by you. In fact the scariest thing in the park that morning was probably this:


Again, the scariest part of the above is not captured in the picture. I had run in this clothing 3 times in 85 deg F + temperatures without washing. Scary. If I ran at all fast that morning it was in an attempt to outrun my own stench.

Bad smells aside, running in Central Park really has been a lifelong dream of mine and it did not disappoint. I think the experience was made all the more poignant by the sheer contrast to the running I had done the day before:


Before this trip I had already made a decision and running in Central Park reinforced it. In October of 2014 I will turn 40. I have decided I will celebrate my 40th by running the NYC marathon.

Then, as an added bonus on the way home, I sat on the tarmac while my flight was delayed due to thunderstorms in Montreal. I sat in my seat feeling dejected... I had been so looking forward to seeing the Booble & The Big Poopa not to mention their Papa. The pilot had no idea how long we would be there since the airport in Montreal was actually shut down. Suddenly it hit me... there was absolutely nothing I could do about this situation. In the grand scheme of things it was NOT a big deal. Papa would manage one more bedtime without me and in the meantime I had a laptop with a dead battery so I could not work (no guilt) and a TV screen in front of me with ON DEMAND television with no one demanding to see Dora. I laughed my ass off watching a 30 Rock marathon while the flight attendant brought me drinks, snacks and even a blanket (someone brought ME a blanket!). In the end we were delayed two hours and let me tell you those two hours went by in half a second. I almost cried when the pilot said we were cleared for take-off.


On the flight home I was able to capture some amazing cloudscapes (that had no doubt been behind the delay):




Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Booble

Before tackling the fascinating topic of the booble, I just wanted to mention that I think my last post was horrendously confusing and misleading. None of the events in the post actually happened. The entire vacation-gone-wrong anecdote was analogous only and intended only as a vehicle to allow me to comment on the ability of the human mind to adapt to continuously worsening frameworks and find the good within the context of worsening realities. I think I belabored the analogy so painfully that it was hopelessly confusing. I do want to state for the record though that although finishing the John Muir trail would indeed be my dream vacation (we are missing the section between Reds Meadows and Bishop Pass for those of you who know of this trail); doing so with a toddler and pre-schooler is actually a recurring nightmare from which I awaken screaming. Regularly. Our vacation this year was visiting family in Wisconsin and that was adventurous enough for now.

Onto the Booble. The Booble is now 16 months old. She has earned this unfortunate nickname due to her reluctance to give up a certain item belonging to me (actually certain items). After the continuing battle with Thing 1 over the nuk (we have given up, she uses it whenever she wants, we are done fighting that particular fight; presumably she will not go to high school with a pacifier) we decided Thing 2 would never use a nuk. She doesn't. She uses me instead. It makes me feel needed, bonded, cherished, annoyed and trapped all within the space of 10 minutes at times. Most recently I came back from a 16 km run in 30 deg celsius, 10,000% humidity weather. I was exhausted, depleted, beyond sweaty and was gagging because of my own stench. I sat down on a towel on the floor (certain my toxic body emissions would burn a whole in our wooden floor) to recover and sure enough the Booble toddles up, plops herself in my disgusting lap and starts pulling on the bottom of my sports bra. I have never known a human more immue to disgusting odors (her other hobby is hanging out in the bathroom while we relieve ourselves!). I am sure that her inability to sleep through the night (seriously, still!) is related to the continued, avid nursing. So we have one child with a nuk addiction, one child with a boob addiction. Good thing we are not having a third because I am not sure how we could go wrong in a different way on this particular issue!

The Booble is now chatting away. Her first words appear to be:

en bas: pronounced ABA! ususally said with urgency to mean "put me down" or, alternatively, if she is down "pick me up".

mama: used to mean me sometimes but generally any object of her desire.

These words comprise her first sentence: "mama en bas!"

encore: pronounced anca, to mean more often accompanied by the baby sign.

no: used to mean no, yes, maybe. Always said in a string "no, no, no, no, no".

She is really getting into this mix of things now. If, for example, Thing 1 and I are making cookies, she will climb onto the counter-top and plop her diapered butt right onto the dough and try to work with a cookie cutter drooling away into the batter (side note: if ever you are at our house, don't eat any food offered to you unless it is in its original, still sealed packaging - anything else is suspect). She is beginning with the temper tantrums and biting. The biting! Apparently this is the big next phase at the daycare. Biting as a form a self expression. The thing that kills me (with laughter) is that they are not allowed to tell parents which other child was involved in the biting incident (probably a good policy) so when I come to pick her up, her teacher will say something to the effect of "Well, she bit one of her little friends today." or "One of her little friends bit her." or, on a good day "She bit one of her friends and her friend bit her back." Which always makes me want to say "I don't know what the word friend means to you, but for me biting generally precludes friendship!". I guess the biting is normal (despite the extremely annoying assurances of one person in my life who assured me it is most certainly NOT normal and the children she raised NEVER bit... yeah, uh huh, thanks a lot).

The Booble has fully mastered walking and actually runs fairly quickly. She leads with her head using excellent "fall forward" technique advised by the Alexander Method! Generally anywhere she wants to go, she leads with her head using it as a weight to force her way anywhere or into any situation. She is a nightmare to share a bed with (usually when she cried for her 1 am feeding, I am too tired to put her away when we are done). She will very deliberately turn perpendicular to the other occupants of the bed and then spend the rest of the night kicking ribs and worming her fingers into armpits.

Her relationship with Thing 1 is at times splendid and at times fraught. As I write, the two of them are 100% entertaining each other, no intervention from me required. No one can break a grumpy spell or make her laugh like Thing 1. No one. At other times the fighting, pushing and, yes, biting makes me want to jump out a window (until I remember we live on the ground floor and that would just be silly).

All in all she seems healthy, happy, thriving and reassuringly normal. I know as a mom I am supposed to wax poetic about how "advanced" she is but whatever... time will tell if she is a genius, for now she is our adorable, bed hogging, biting booble.